


This Feels Like

by Writing_Goat



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Based on Song, M/M, Night Drabble, Tatt briefly mentioned, Tomatt Hinted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6725740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_Goat/pseuds/Writing_Goat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom's been feeling everything from hate to love, love to lust, lust to truth. This must be how falling in love feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Feels Like

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to make a night drabble based on Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. Hope it's enjoyable!

Tom would never admit it out loud. Not in five months, not in five years. He'd hold it in his chest as long as he could. Why did this had to happen with this person of all people?

Why did he have to fall for his roommate, Matt?

Tom hated it. It was awful. The feeling tightened his chest and made it near impossible to breathe. He'd have to knock back his flask from just seeing the ginger around the house. He'd smile at the worst times.. Ugh! Tom wanted to scream.

Tom fought the feelings by telling Matt he hated him, treated him terribly, threatened to burn his novelty toy collection on multiple occasions as well as other things. If only Matt had never shot himself with that stupid memory eraser gun, Tom would be in a much better spot.

That said, it wasn't as if these feelings came out of no where, no. Tom had always had feelings for the ginger, but the ginger's heart had always been somewhere else, and through the years, what Tom had loved about Matt had slowly left perspective. After all, people changed with time, grew colder. Just like Tom was now, colder than the Arctic.

Ever since High school Tom could remember is when the feelings for the ginger originally started. They had known each other for years before then, but something in High school changed. Matt had always been tall, always ginger... Tom had a hard time placing it, but it must have been how free Matt was. He wouldn't let anyone hold him back, he'd stand against the world, and did as he pleased. Tom loved that confidence. That freedom.

Probably helped Matt had royalty connections, but with how he acted, you'd never be able to tell.

Yet, there had always been Tord. Tord had always had Matt's eyes. The way Tord would take his attention, and be ready to go off and get in trouble with the ginger had gotten Tom in a fair amount of trouble. Seeing as Tom would go and one up Tord. In the end, Tom stuck it out with Edd, who was the best-est friend Tom could ever ask for.

He'd be lying if he didn't have something for the little shit head that was Edd, but, as they grew, he came to value his friendship more, and Matt lost that spark about him that drew Tom in the first place.

If only that eraser gun had never gone off.

Tom knew the feeling of falling in love, it wasn't a new concept to him. It all started when he was teaching Matt his name again. It had literally been twenty minutes after they figured out what had happened. Matt had been in hysterics before, and they had thought it was over Tord until Matt claimed he didn't know what his name was.

So, Tom taught Matt his own name. As well as Edd's, and Tom's. Matt caught onto them quickly, and his eyes were wide and full of near childlike wonder, grinning from ear to ear once he mastered it quickly.

“Awesome! I'm going to remember everything in no time at all!” Matt cheered, and all Tom could remember was getting lost in those eyes. Tom felt himself falling for his eyes alone, yet knew that they didn't know who he was yet. They were full of trust, and determination.

Tom really didn't want to fall in love. So, he hated Matt, or tried. Once Matt was out of his vulnerable state from the memory eraser gun, Tom grew cold towards him and picked up drinking again. Of course, this confused Matt, and so rather than trying to decode Tom, he'd spend most his time with Edd when he could.

Until he couldn't, grew bored, and decided to spend time with Tom again.

“Hey, Tom? Why are you so mean? Did I do something wrong?” Rather than receiving an answer, he got a full flask to the face. “Tom-”

“You're annoying. Do something useful and drink that and shut up.” Tom wasn't drunk enough to deal with questions, but he didn't expect Matt to actually unscrew the flask, and begin drinking from it.

“Ewr. You actually drink this stuff? It's so... Bitter.” Matt made an face, his tongue sticking out a little almost that to a resemblance of a kid taking a shot of whiskey from their parents before vowing to never touch it again.

Tom snorted, “Yeah.” He admitted, it didn't taste good at all. “But you don't drink for the taste-” Before he could finish, Matt was drinking more from the flask, and Tom couldn't help but start feeling worried.

And worried he should have been. By the time he got the flask back, it was dry and Matt, well. He was drunk. Tom didn't know what to expect, but was relieved when Matt just sat on the floor giggling, his hands over his face.

“Toooooom! I feel so warm!” Matt laughed, putting his hands out in front of him, “Why is everything moving?” He'd try to stand, only to melt onto the couch behind him.

Huh. Matt's the College girl kind of drunk. Adorable.

Tom would have rolled his eyes had he had them, but lacking the eyes to roll, he just sighed. “Matt, don't try walking. You'll just make yourself feel sick and hurt yourself.”

“Tom....? Do you really hate me?” Te question was sudden, and Tom was prepared to answer.

“Tom?” Tom held his hand up instead, walking over and sat on the couch on the other end.

“Come settle down with me, over here.” Tom couldn't believe what he was letting happen, but with no grace, Matt managed to crawl over and wrapped his arms around Tom. “That's not.. Whatever.”

“Matt, I don't hate you personally.” He admitted to the drunk ginger, feeling the other man's heart begin to race in their chest, “I hate... The idea of you.”

“Idea, of me..?” Matt was rightfully confused, looking up to Tom. He almost laughed though, seeing how close their faces were. “What does that mean?”

“You.. Before you lost your memories, you use to be... Different. I don't mean to offend, but I hate the idea of you becoming that person again.” Tom admitted, feeling Matt tense up for a moment, before relaxing completely. Tom managed to look down at him.

“Silly, little Tom.” Matt sniffed, smiling up at him, “I'm Matt. I'm not.. Who you use to know? I guess I sort of am, but.” Matt shrugged, only to feel Tom pulling him closer. “I'm... I don't know, honestly. But I won't be who I use to be, I promise.” Matt yawned, his eyes scrunching close. “I don't.. Want you to hate me too..” His face pressed against Tom's neck, just trying to get comfortable. “... You're warm. Can I stay here?”

Tom swallowed heavy. That was a hefty promise to come out of a man who had no idea who he was before. But... Tom wanted to believe. His heart wanted to believe. Tom also, wanted to shove Matt away, as Matt was a little too close. But. Well. He was tired and warm too. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.

“... You can stay.”

The next day Matt had a hang over, discovered milk, and neither of them brought up the night prior. Tom assumed he forgot.

Matt didn't forget.

It'd be a few months, and they'd get new neighbors. Matt being Matt, wanted to go and introduce himself, and Edd didn't want anything to do with Eduardo or his friends. Naturally, ignoring Edd and Tom, Matt went over.

And came back with a black eye.

Edd just waved it off, patting Matt's back. After all, Matt had the tendency to be like an over excited puppy with new people and would make himself at home, sometimes over stepping boundaries.

Tom didn't care. For the first time in months, he saw red and wanted to go give their neighbores a firm talking to. Seeing Matt come home with a bruised face and being uncharacteristically quiet angered the short man. Edd wouldn't let him out the door, but that day he vowed to protect Matt from getting hurt like that again. Not without his supervision, at least.

Tom hated the feeling in his chest. Whenever he wanted to kiss Matt, he'd drink. Whenever he wanted to spend time with him alone, he'd drink.

“Hey, Tom?” Matt's voice broke Tom out of his train of thought, and brought into the present. They were on the couch together alone at this point, credits rolling on their tv screen from their movie. Edd must have left at some point.

“What is it Matt?” Tom cleared his throat, having not been prepared to speak up in that moment. “Did Edd already go to bed?”

Matt laughed, smiling at Tom. “Uh, yeah? He told you about ten minutes ago, but you were lost in your thoughts again.” Matt had moved his legs onto the couch, poking Tom's side with his foot. “Looked like something important. What were you thinking about?”

“.... Nothing.” Tom huffed, pushing his foot away, but he couldn't help but smile. Matt kept his promise, he was definitely not like his old self in any way. “Wait, were you just staring at me or did you really sit through nearly all the credits?”

Seeing as Matt sat straighter and moved his eyes from Tom to the TV screen told him he was about to lie. He couldn't look at Tom's.... Not eyes or Edd's eyes whenever he lied. “I was watching the credits, I was curious about the names.”

“You're a strange one, aren't you?” Tom grinned, throwing one of the couches pillows at Matt, earning a yip from him.

And then it was war. Matt laughed, catching the pillow and went to tackle Tom, but tom being smaller, darted away from Matt and began running toward his room, yet, before Tom could make it, he was scooped up by the tall ginger.

“Dammit Matt!” Tom let himself laugh, earning a laugh from Matt as well. They'd stay like that for a moment in the dark hall way, both just enjoying the silence between them, nothing but the quiet hum of the radio playing from Tom's, he figured it was time to part ways. “Alright you carrot. Put me down.”

Matt hesitated, putting Tom back on the floor. In the silence, they could hear the lyrics from the song that was on the radio from Tom's room.

So kiss me like you wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved 

Both of them shifted uncomfortably, gazes meeting before pulling away in opposite directions. Tom knew this song, he wouldn't admit it, but was thankful it was almost over.

This feels like I've fallen in love  
Fallen in love  
Fallen in love

“Goodnight Tom.” Matt was the first to break the silence as the song ended. He smiled at Tom wanting to say more, before turning around to walk away. Missing Tom's hand reaching out to him.

“... Yeah. Goodnight, Matt.”


End file.
